"Baby Ficus Bonsai is banned from all future competitions after admitting the use of performance enhancing wire."
Despite this shocking revelation there are still some exceptional bonsai gracing today’s catwalk displays. Allow yourself 9 minutes to relax and enjoy the spring show. The fashion is dazzling and opens with three Dwarf Azalea sisters at the peak of their abilities. They are followed by twin Fuji Cherry models – each survivors of near catastrophic separations at birth!
A couple of aging elite bonsai models then take the applause by showing off their curves – well done Lucinda Larch. With the crowds in raptures, sudden and unexpected complaints are received from the Forsythia camp, when she notices that the youngest entrant – a baby Ficus – is clearly using performance enhancing 1mm wire. An instant lifetime ban follows with further threats that fertiliser will be tested…
Thankfully, the bonsai display is saved by the late entry of Zita the Chinese Elm and her cousin, Twin-Trunk Maple – surely stars of the future?
Several other complaints have been lodged after enquiries suggest some ‘insider trading’ has unfairly advantaged many of the bonsai dress choices. The designer of the costumes – Dawn Isaac ( of deiCeramics), has been unavailable for comment. More information on this uncertain situation may be found on her website: deiceramics.co.uk
It is also worth noting that this is the first competition allowing both disability and LGBTQ+ bonsai to compete on an equal rooting. Definitely a step forward for diversity :()
I hope you enjoyed this light hearted approach to showing my bonsai in bloom. Regular informative videos are being uploaded to YouTube so please subscribe and keep on watching…
Happy Bonsaiing
Xav
Brilliant video, made me laugh!